There was something that happened the same night as this entry that I didn't write about.
When Shark finally came to bed, he told me that Mr. Man had attacked a lizard. Apparently, a lizard had come inside with Shark after he found those thongs on the stairs. Mr. Man attacked and was able to rip the tail off the lizard. You know lizards, though. It just ran away without its tail. Mr. Man ate the tail, Shark killed the rest of the lizard, and everything was fine.
I was still mostly asleep, and this story just sort of washed over me. "What did you do with the body?" I asked sleepily.
"Threw it away."
Shark cracked up at the way I said it. "Well, it's not like I do it all the time!" That conversation still makes him laugh.
Anyway, Wednesday night, I went to bed early to read some. When Shark came to bed, he told me that Mr. Man had eaten part of a lizard again. It turns out that basically the same scenario had played out; Mr. Man chased a lizard and ripped its tail off. "Mr. Man had the tail in his mouth and it was all wiggling around!" I was so squicked out. I asked what happened to the rest of the lizard, and Shark replied, "Oh, it got away."
I had pretty much forgotten about it because it was just a lizard, right? Whatever. Last night, as we were eating dinner, I glanced over towards the couch. There was something beige looking on the border of the wallpaper above the couch. "What's that?" I asked Shark.
"THAT'S THAT LIZARD!!!!!"
"Well get Mr. Man!"
The problem was that the lizard was so high up, there was no way for a cat to get it. Shark grabbed a mop and handed it to me. Then he picked up Mr. Man. "Use that to scoot the lizard down this way, towards Mr. Man," he ordered me.
I went into complete girly freak out mode. "I can't! If I touch it with the mop... I'm touching it by extension."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes, I'm sorry."
"But I thought this would be easier for you, because you'd be pushing it towards me."
Shark took the mop and I held Mr. Man. Shark poked at the lizard, and it started to crawl down the wall. It came down diagonally so that it ended up halfway down the back door. I let Mr. Man go and sort of pushed him towards the door. He immediately saw the lizard and began attacking. It was the funniest and creepiest thing. He ended up with the lizard in his mouth and then he ran into the kitchen. Where the lizard disappeared.
Shark used the mop to rub the bottom edges of the cabinets looking for the lizard, but it was no use. He finally found a crack that the lizard must have gone through.
Mr. Man was not so easily deterred, though. He searched all over the kitchen, and then he realized he should start at the beginning and try to pick up clues. It was so cute watching him sniff all over the door, trying to find that lizard. He spent a good hour searching for the lizard. You could just see it all over his face.