I had a very bizarre night last night. I'm trying to get on a regular sleep schedule so I can get up early and be at work by 8:00. You know, like an adult. Anyway, I went to bed last night around 10:45, read for a while, and then I tried to go to sleep. The cats were being crazy; Kitty and Lil' Bit were playing underneath my nightstand, and Mr. Man was trying to eat a light bulb. (The lamp on Shark's nightstand has one of those clip-on shades, and Mr. Man continuously knocks it off and chews on the bulb. I don't know what to do. Hans needs the lamp for reading, but I'm afraid Mr. Man is going to chew on the bulb until it bursts in his mouth.)
I finally was able to fall asleep, but I was right there in the in between state when Shark came in from having a smoke. He ran into the bedroom, very excited. "OMIGOD LOOK WHAT I FOUND ON THE STAIRS!" I opened my eyes slowly, and there at the foot of the bed was Shark. He had just turned the light on, so he was sort of framed in this intrusive light. He was holding a pair of glittery purple thongs in his hand. I just did not know how to react to that. "Are they yours?" he asked me.
You would think your husband would be able to recognize your underwear. Which was the first thought that passed through my mind. The second was, I don't think they're mine. It finally occurred to me through my foggy sleep haze that they were definitely not my thongs. "You think I lost my underwear on the stairs? How would that have escaped my notice?"
Shark conceded this point. "What should I do with them?" he asked me.
"Just put them back on the stairs. Someone will miss them."
Shark turned off the light. "I'm not putting them back! These are gross! I'm throwing 'em away."
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